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By
Brigitte Meier
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The initial state of
happiness about an own
child is often overcome with annoyance after
even a short period of time. Children quickly grow an
own personality, and it's the most vital task of the
parents to help develop it and give it a shape.
Otherwise, the little angel can turn into a little devil
adding considerably to the stress in life you already
have.
Like everything else in
life, child education
is a tightrope walk between strictness and letting
loose. Drifting off either way causes more problems than
it solves. But of course what sounds clear and obvious
in theory is much harder to actually apply practically.
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The
suggestions here are no rules to follow, they're mere
guidelines and should animate own thoughts and ideas.
After all, it's up to you what you think is best.
1.
Discipline
During
the first six month of its life, a baby won't yet be
able to understand the connection between "bad behaviour"
and punishment. What it really needs during that time is
care and loving, to tighten the emotional bounds to its
parents.
Nevertheless, even a baby that small is fully capable of
repeating actions that lead to a pleasant result. So if
any sob makes you appear immediately on the cradle,
you'll find that you have a miniature dictator soon who
keeps you up and running with joy.
Between
seven and fourteen months,
children
normally start testing their limits. This results from a
growth in both mobility and stubbornness, so what's
being put on test are the parents' patience with keeping
their little ones from exploring, often eating and
probably destroying the reachable parts of the household
and for how long they can get away with it.
Babies at
that age start challenging their parents by stubborn
disobedience, but that should not lead to punishment. Be
firm and persistent in telling and showing them what
they're not supposed to do, but don't be rude or harsh.
Their concentration usually doesn't last, so distraction
is a great weapon. They still need a lot of love, and
your reward will be a happy time with a sometimes
annoying, but mostly very cute baby.
Going
towards an age of two years, the obstinacy takes often a
negative direction: "No" is the preferred answer to all
"propositions" ranging from eating and choice of toys to
taking a bath and going to sleep.
Discipline can become
considerably harder to apply, but is vital to steer the
course of your child's further development. It has to
learn that the authority and decision is with the
parents. Still, love and forgiveness is of even
importance. Especially the father's role as an authority
for the child
and support for his wife can make this period a lot
easier.
With
increasing mobility, skill and curiosity a
child between
two and three years can keep its mother constantly busy,
taking every moment of silence as an indication of a new
disaster involving eating things, messing around with
things and getting stuck in things.
This can
really add to the load of stress parents already have,
and the explosive emotional or even physical reaction
might ease the moment, but on the long term increases
the problem. So be as relaxed as possible and make sure
you've got all valuable pieces of household equipment
properly secured. When children receive a bump or
scratch that's no drama - turning it into one will just
make you and your child
over-freightened in the future. Still, with all
calmness, don't miss to tell your child when it did
wrong and discipline when it's overdoing it.
In the
following years, the focus of education should be on the
child's character and attitudes. The influence of
trends, friends and media is strong, and the temptation
to try new things is high. At the same time, the control
parents have over their children's activities is
reduced, and especially when it comes to trends parents
often lack understanding for the things that are "in".
So even
though your child
becomes more independent, it's important that you have
time together and show interest in its experiences,
interests and problems. Offer to talk about things, but
don't urge. Show understanding and always be there as
someone your child can talk to without fear - remember
the days when you were in that age, and your feelings at
that time.
And, most
important: Be a paradigm to your
child. You
cannot expect it to do something you don't have the
power or courage to do yourself. Respect is nothing that
can be taught, but has to be earned, even by parents.
2. Rules
of thumb
- Be
just!
Don't
expect your child
to behave according to rules you haven't set. Especially
young children often can't distinguish between right and
wrong. So even if something is clearly a stupid idea for
you, it might seem a brilliant one to it.
- Be
firm!
If you
give in to your child's defiant reaction, maybe because
you're just tired of the whole thing, you lose much more
than that fight. You give away authority and respect.
-
Forgive!
After a
confrontation is settled, reassure your child of your
love and show that you're not resentful.
- Don't
ask for the impossible!
No matter
what your means of education are like, you can't expect
a child to behave like an adult. Children sometimes
behave irresponsibly - that's built-in.
- Don't
forget the love!
In the
end, no matter how much trouble you might have with each
other, don't forget to show that you love your
child. And
when it comes to decide how to educate, how to reward
and how to discipline, listen to your heart what's the
right thing to do.
More
Information...
About The
Author
Brigitte Meier is an
occassional author for
http://www.e-nterests.com - visit the site for
more interesting articles.
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