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By Sue
Dillicar
Research
shows that children
with good social skills make friends easier, do better
at school and are more resilient to life's blows. Social
skills are behaviours which help others feel comfortable
with us and help us make friends. By teaching your
children
social skills such as manners and good eye contact, you
are helping your child
develop vital strategies for being successful in their
relationships.
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Karen
McIlveen, principal of The Grace Academy, says that
teaching your children
these skills gives them confidence and boosts their
self-esteem. "When a
child knows what to say and how to act in any
situation, it eases their anxiety and allows them to act
confidently."
Children need
to learn proper manners and social skills now more than
ever. Competition for spots in universities and jobs is
becoming tougher and the young people with well
developed and natural social skills will stand out and
have an advantage over their peers. Knowing the proper
social graces allows
children to feel confident and poised. |
Maura
Graber, director of The R.S.V.P. Institute of Etiquette,
said: "During one's teen years, it is even harder to
feel sure of oneself, as teens are in that confusing
position of being between
childhood and
adulthood. It is human nature to 'act out' when unsure
of the proper behavior for any given situation. Teens
need manners as social tools, to navigate their way
through the differing social events they will encounter
as they grow up into mature adults." After attending a
course on etiquette and other social skills at Grace
Academy, Toralee, 14, responded that she learned a lot
of important life skills. "The course was great! I
especially enjoyed learning about posture. I think any
teenager in 21st century life would really enjoy it and
it would be of great use to them."
It is
often assumed that social skills will be acquired by
osmosis. However, while some social skills are learned
implicitly, all
children would benefit from being taught social
skills.
Strategies for improving your children's social skills:
1) Talk
to your children
about why manners are important. Use examples to
illustrate your point. "When your friend came over
yesterday and didn't say hello to me, it hurt my
feelings. That's why it is important for you to always
say hello when you go into someone's house."
2) Model
good manners and courteousness.
Children will
be watching their parents to see how they behave. If you
are a bit unsure of what is still relevant today, look
it up on the net or go to the library.
3)
Practise good manners with your
children
daily. Practise morning greetings, table manners,
introducing friends and offering to help, etc. Some
manners need to be taught through role-playing as
children may
not have regular opportunities to practise them, such as
how to introduce mum to your teacher.
4) Make
use of the television. Ask your
children to
evaluate the behaviour of people in shows. Are they
being polite? Is that the way a kid should talk to their
parent? Use the situations to get your
child to think
about how it could have been done differently. Get them
to think about what they see instead of blindly
accepting the behaviour as normal.
5) Get
into the habit of sitting at the table at least 3 times
a week. This allows many opportunities to practise
courtesy and conversation. Even if you eat in front of
the tv, make sure your
children use good manners.
6) Every
social situation provides a teaching opportunity. Take a
few minutes to prompt your
child. "There
is a new kid over there. How would you start a
conversation with him?"
More
Information...
If
parents are not comfortable teaching their children
these skills or just don't have the time, there are now
courses available at various finishing schools or
etiquette schools.
www.parentingmyths.weebly.com
www.wordsmith63.webs.com
About
the Author
Sue
Dillicar is a mother and freelance writer with a
background in research, analysis and working with
children. She currently assists businesses with
research, editing, journalling and design services. She
also assists with teaching children social skills. |
